Ask a hotel F&B team why they do not upsell and you will rarely hear "I do not want to". You hear that it feels pushy, or that they do not know what to recommend. Both are training problems, and both are fixed with specific sentences rather than encouragement.
The four habits underneath every script
Never ask a yes/no question
A yes/no question hands the guest an easy exit. Replace it with a choice between two options you are happy with either way.
Instead of
"Would you like a drink?"
Say
"Can I start you with something from the bar, or would you prefer the wine list?"
Recommend as yourself
"The chef recommends" sounds like a script because it is one. "My favourite is the sea bass, because the skin comes out perfect" sounds like a person, and guests trust people.
Nod while you recommend
A slight nod while naming a dish measurably increases agreement. It costs nothing and takes about a minute to teach.
Watch the glass, not the clock
An empty glass sitting for two minutes is a decision being made without you. The script is simple: "Another of the same, or shall I bring you the [something better]?"
Phase 1 — Arrival
The first sentence sets the size of the check. Handing over menus in silence starts it at zero.
Welcome. While you settle in, I recommend our signature [cocktail] — it is very refreshing after the heat today. Shall I bring two over, or would you prefer the wine list?
Phase 2 — The order
No main course should leave the pass alone. The phrasing to teach is "for the table", which makes a shared price feel smaller than an individual one.
Excellent choice on the steak. The truffle mash goes perfectly with that sauce — shall I add one for the table to share?
Phase 3 — Dessert
Never ask whether they want dessert. By that point they are full and the honest answer is no. Assume it instead, and make it sound light.
I am not going to let you leave without trying the [dessert]. It is light, not too sweet, and it goes beautifully with an espresso. Shall I bring one with two spoons?
Phase 4 — The check
Ask about a specific dish, not the meal in general. "Was everything okay?" gets "fine" and tells you nothing. "How was the sea bass?" gets you something you can act on — and it is the moment guests decide what to write in a review.
Making it stick
Scripts on a noticeboard do not change behaviour. Two things do: put them on a laminated card the team can keep in a pocket, and run a shift contest on one phrase at a time. Pick a single line — "shall I add one for the table?" — and reward whoever uses it most that night. Muscle memory builds faster from one good evening than from a four-hour workshop.